Relationship? Well, um..

“Sometimes you keep me wondering,” I told my friend a few days ago.

He was startled and began panicking if he had done or spoken something wrong and it took me sometime to assure him that this has nothing to do with his attitude towards me.

“Then, what did you mean by that statement?” he asked me inquisitively.

“Well,” I said, “I just realised lately, I’ve been offering you and a few others relationship advice but I don’t indulge in one.”

He grinned at me saying, “Maybe you’ll find someone who says ‘I love you’ soon.”

After hearing that statement, I got pissed off and said, “Forget it!”

“What? Why? Did I offend you?”

I shook my head and drifted to my own thoughts…

I heard, people call the three words – ‘I love you’ as magical and yearn to hear them.

But, I guess I’ve another sentence which should be better called as the magical words and it is much smaller (it has only two words) and has more impact than the former one.

It’s nothing but ‘TRUST ME.’

I dunno, if many of you might agree to my stance, but if you feel I’m on the wrong, you needn’t proceed further to read. Or, if you just might consider it, don’t hesitate.

I put forth my opinion – ‘Trust’ is more important than ‘Love’. Can love arise without any trust?

Of course, there are all those films that portray love at first sight. But, it’s left to us to ponder over, if such things do really exist. Maybe yes, maybe no. You bet a fifty percent chance on that. If it’s a yes from your side, yet, the question if such love will remain strong till the end, lingers…

Isn’t prima facie or love at first sight based on beauty and physical appearance? I agree, not everyone is going after character and they need someone whom they can proudly introduce to their friends and colleagues as their lover. Maybe, if such love do exist and the partners are married and have no idea of separating, then my hats off to them!

I grew up hearing my sister say often, “Trust builds and strengthens a relationship. If there’s any doubt that roots itself on a partner, it sure is bound to stem its way up and break the bond. There should always be an honest openness between the partners before and after they get married.”

She has a point there!

If you find your guy to be a pervert or find his mobile to be filled with messages under some other name and you feel he lies to you, then, will you be sure to carry forward your relationship?

Or, if you find your girl could easily flirt with any guy and isn’t true to you or hides something from you, will you be sure to carry forward your relationship?

Yes, I hope you see the dawn now!

Sidney Sheldon quotes in his book – ‘Are you afraid of the Dark?’ when one of the protagonists, who is famous falls in love with an ordinary man – ‘Did you ever hear the phrase “seeing someone through the eyes of love”?’

Character is damn quintessential to fall in love according to me. Am I right?

Trust is an exotic ingredient to brew the perfume of love. I call love, a perfume intentionally, because its fragrance doesn’t last long without trust.

I’ve heard people tell me they fought with their lover, yet they can’t live without the other. As I probed further, the only missing thing that I found which leads to such conflicts is faith or belief on the other.

So, before getting committed, try to build the magical bond with trust and then after getting committed, maintain it and after marriage, that alone sustains a relationship till death.

I know, I’m just a novice in this field. I’ve no experience at all but I advise my friends to hold onto their relationship until they feel their trust is falling apart and nothing is binding on them. It’s a pro bono advice I’m giving.

Have patience and hear them out first before you barge on them with false beliefs.

Moreover, do not dominate a conversation and keep it two sided. After all, Love is a never-ending process. You get to learn each other every day. So, share and let the other to share too. If you resume sharing everything and feel left out that you know nothing about him/her, then there is no exchange of thoughts or identity if minds. So, try to initiate two sided tête-à-tête.

People do often say, “Till now, I’ve never lied to you.” I guess that has become a common phrase nowadays. I don’t have a recipe book to cook a better, healthy relationship. I don’t know on what grounds you can build trust. It varies with circumstances and people.

Remember, ‘Trust’ is what is required…

“Tara!” I was shaken back to reality by my friend, “Did I offend you?”

“Nope, it’s just that..”

“Just that?”

“Never mind.”

“Nothing. Trust me…”



2 thoughts on “Relationship? Well, um..

  1. This is great, if a little long. Love your background and how the writing scrolls as you read with the static picture – really works for you here. Great piece on trust and the links to love.

    Keep on
    love brett fish


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