Pangs of loneliness

I dreamed a dream
Of my sister and my friend.

I was sobbing alone,
When I felt a tap on my shoulder,
With tear-streaked face, I turned
To find my sister with a reassuring smile.

She hugged me tight and said,
“Pour your feelings out.”
After that my heart never felt heavy.

But, I saw pain in her eyes like mine.
So I said, “pour it out unto me.”
She shook her head saying, “Leave me alone.”

Another day, I sat, crisp blobby tears painting my face.
Came, another tap on my shoulder.
This time it was my friend,
With gentle touch and caring heart.

He squeezed my hand tight and said,
“Pour your feelings out.”
Out gushed my pain and wrath.

My heart felt light then.
But I sensed the same pain in him too.
So I said, “Pour it out unto me,” but he shook his head firmly,
Saying, “Leave me alone.”

The pain that I shared with them,
Retraced its way back to me.
I hugged myself tight and cried.

Maybe, they don’t call me their own selves.
Maybe, I don’t belong to them.
Or rather, maybe they don’t want my care.

It hurt me enough and I merely saw them,
As trashcans where I dump my feelings.
One sides conversations-the reason behind my guilt.

They don’t see me as their friend,
They don’t like me to hear them out,
They don’t want me by their side either.

I woke up with a start,
But then, I realised,
My dream was nothing short of reality.

I turn the pages of my memories,
I see them filled with holes,
– wounds, from being left alone…
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